#79: It Stuck With Me – No. 03

A vignette called ‘The Mooning’

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[Image description: Text ‘It Stuck With Me No. 03’ on a lilac background]

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The Mooning

It’s 1999, and I’m ten years old. I’ve been invited to a birthday sleepover at a friend’s house; a friend whose parents run a local pub. A pub! My parents aren’t pub people. As Ghanaian migrants to the UK, I’m guessing pubs didn’t feel relevant to their way of life. But, nevertheless, somehow, I’m allowed to go.

The flat above the pub is cosy and slightly chaotic, with mismatched furniture and the clink of glasses and merriment from the pub below drifting up through the floorboards. Before we settle in for the evening, we take a trip to Blockbuster around the corner, galloping over in a noisy gaggle, clutching fistfuls of one-pound coins.

We spend ages debating what to rent out. Either to get something scary that none of us are really brave enough for, like The Craft, which someone’s older sibling said was *actually real* or something safe and familiar like Mulan or The Parent Trap. We trail up and down the aisles, pulling VHS boxes out, flipping them over, arguing about age ratings and who’s already seen what.

Back at the flat above the pub, her dad gets us takeaway pizza, chips, and that orange cheese sauce that comes in a plastic tub and smells odd. It’s exotic to me. My parents aren’t really takeaway people. At home, we have lots of rice and stew and jollof, or my mum’s homemade fried chicken on weekends.

As evening falls, we lean against the windowsill in her room, arms pressed together, peering out at the pub courtyard below like little spies. We press our noses to the cold glass and watch as the men fill out the courtyard.

We watch with fascination. I don’t think any of us sleepover guests have seen pub culture close up before. Big men who slap each other’s backs and shout across to other groups of their friends. They laugh loudly and gesticulate wildly and keep going back and forth to fetch more rounds of beer.

We watch one of our rented films. After it ends, we find our attention wandering to the windowsill again. We start waving at the men drinking pints in the courtyard. At first shyly, then with more confidence.

They wave back. We squeal.

One of us writes “Hello” backwards (so that they can read it from the outside) in fat, looping letters in the condensation on the glass. Another draws a wonky heart.

The men cheer and raise their pints to us. Us girls egg each other on. Someone blows a kiss to them. We collapse into laughter, giddy with the thrill of it; the attention, the mischief, the feeling of being almost grown.

Then, without warning, one of the men stands up, turns around, and drops his trousers, and his pale backside glows under the courtyard lights like a full moon.

We scream. We’re part horrified, part thrilled. He pulls his trousers back up and falls about laughing, and his mates double over with him. We can’t stop laughing either; toppling onto the bed like dominoes, howling with disbelief.

“What if he does it again?” someone gasps through the laughter.

“I saw everything,” another pipes up.

[Cont.]

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Previous posts in the ‘It Stuck With Me’ series:

In this vignette, ‘A Single Playing Card’, I’m nine or 10 years old and together, my primary school pals and I find a playing card in the dirt. It’s pornographic and we are stunned:

#76: It Stuck With Me – No. 02

In the vignette, ‘School Disco’, it’s the summer of 1997 and I’m having the best time dancing to Hanson’s ‘MmmBop’, the Grease MegaMix and T-Spoon’s ‘Sex on the Beach’ (inappropriate!):

#74: It Stuck With Me – No. 01

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I’m Almaz Ohene, a Creative Copywriter, Freelance Journalist and Accidental Sexpert.

Watch my showreel highlighting the work I’ve been doing within the intimacy pleasure, intimacy and sex ed sectors.

Follow me on Instagram: @almazohene

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I run 4x workshops (in-person and/or online) about sex and intimacy. Whether you’re looking to boost your sensual confidence, explore your sexual expression, or deepen your intimate connections, these workshops are here to help you do it both playfully and powerfully. Perfect for hen parties, baby showers, birthdays… or just because.