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[Image description: Text ‘She Dares To Say Season 2 Roundup’ on a navy blue background with lilac paintbrush stroke highlighted segments]
This month, I’m spotlighting all 13 interviews again, if you missed any please do go back and have a listen and/or read.
Over the past two years, I’ve interviewed dozens of diverse subjects – many of them from marginalised groups – who have entrusted me with their thoughts on how they experienced their sexuality. Creating a safe and nurturing space for people to share themselves in their own time, and in their own unique modes of expression, are two of the most important aspects of building trust with interviewees. And, as this series shows, so many of my interviewees felt comfortable enough to share their intimate stories – many of which had never been spoken out loud before – with fearlessness, generosity, power and truth. Thank you!
Image description: Text ‘Authenticity Arena No. 13’ on a navy blue background with a lilac paintbrush stroke highlighted segment]
Authenticity Area No. 13
‘A’, is a Black (mixed Black Ghanaian and white British), pansexual woman (cis), who, at the time of interview in January 2023 was 33, engaging in a few consensually non-monogamous relationships and living in Manchester.
The extract picks up a thread where Almaz and interviewer Edem Barbara Ntumy share how they feel that the work they do in sexuality education has made them hyperaware of the ways in which they respond to perceived sexual cues. And Almaz reveals how she experiences maddeningly visceral crushes that can impede her ability to do deep thinking and intellectual work.
Written sexuality survey answers in ‘Postscript’ mailout (paywall)
[Image description: Text ‘Authenticity Arena No. 12’ on a navy blue background with a lilac paintbrush stroke highlighted segment]
Authenticity Area No. 12
‘N’ is a white Irish, gay man (cis), who at the time of interview in June 2021 was 31, single and living in Belfast.
The extract gives some insight into how some millennials have engaged with dating app culture in the decade that’s passed since they became mainstream, and how app-based dating can flatten the way we conceive of notions such as attractiveness and masculinity.
Further interview material in ‘Postscript’ mailout (paywall)
[Image description: Text ‘Authenticity Arena No. 11’ on a navy blue background with a lilac paintbrush stroke highlighted segment]
Authenticity Area No. 11
‘M’ is a white British, bisexual woman (cis), who at the time of interview in Sep 2021 was 40, married with adopted children and living in Greater Manchester.
The extract covers the complex adoption process that ‘M’ and her wife went through, and how the coronavirus lockdowns meant that their same-sex relationship became more visible to their local community.
Written sexuality survey answers in ‘Postscript’ mailout (paywall)
[Image description: Text ‘Authenticity Arena No. 10’ on a navy blue background with a lilac paintbrush stroke highlighted segment]
‘L’ is a white British, pansexual woman (cis), who, at the time of interview in June 2022 was 29, partnered, and living in Glasgow.
The extract picks up a thread where ‘L’ describes some of the feelings she had when she developed an unexpected crush on an older girl and the dynamics at play in her formative sexual experiences.
Written sexuality survey answers in ‘Postscript’ mailout (paywall)
[Image description: Text ‘Authenticity Arena No. 09’ on a navy blue background with a lilac paintbrush stroke highlighted segment]
‘K’ is a Black British Caribbean, heterosexual, woman (cis), who at the time of interview in July 2021 was 31, single and living in London.
The extract discusses how much of an impact the sexualised lyrics in pop songs can have on our conception of sexual behaviour, and how peer pressure can impact the desire to begin engaging in partnered sex.
Written sexuality survey answers in ‘Postscript’ mailout (paywall)
[Image description: Text ‘Authenticity Arena No. 08’ on a navy blue background with a lilac paintbrush stroke highlighted segment]
‘J’ is a mixed-race (Indian and white British), bisexual woman (cis), who, at the time of interview in July 2021 was 33, single, and living in Brighton.
The extract picks up a thread where Almaz encourages ‘J’ to describe some of the feelings she has around the prospect of kissing a woman for the first time, and her early memories of sexual feelings.
Written sexuality survey answers in ‘Postscript’ mailout (paywall)
[Image description: Text ‘Authenticity Arena No. 07’ on a navy blue background with a lilac paintbrush stroke highlighted segment]
‘H’ is a queer, white British, woman (cis), who, at the time of interview in May 2021 was 37, and living in London with her husband and small son.
The extract gives some insight into how wonderfully generative conversations can be between strangers who work within the same sphere and discover that they share a worldview.
Further interview material in ‘Postscript’ mailout (paywall)
[Image description: Text ‘Authenticity Arena No. 06’ on a navy blue background with a lilac paintbrush stroke highlighted segment]
‘G’ is a straight, Mauritian British, cis man, who, at the time of interview in February 2021 was 48, single, and living in London.
The interview was a lot of fun, especially since ‘G’ shared so generously, and without inhibition, about his dating habits and preferences.
Written sexuality survey answers in ‘Postscript’ mailout (paywall)
[Image description: Text ‘Authenticity Arena No. 05’ on a navy blue background with a lilac paintbrush stroke highlighted segment]
‘F’ is pansexual, gender curious and white British, who, at the time of interview in March 2021 was 26, partnered, and living in London.
The extract delves into why ‘F’ thinks she feels shame around pleasure and desire, and how some of the cultural scripts we pick up around sex impact our early sexual experiences.
Written sexuality survey answers in ‘Postscript’ mailout (paywall)
[Image description: Text ‘Authenticity Arena No. 04’ on a navy blue background with a lilac paintbrush stroke highlighted segment]
‘E’ is a straight, mixed (white British and Arab) woman (cis), who at the time of interview in March 2021 was 33, with a male partner and toddler, and living in London.
In this extract ‘E’ describes the fraught relationship to the concept of sexual activity she had as a young woman.
Written sexuality survey answers in ‘Postscript’ mailout (paywall)
[Image description: Text ‘Authenticity Arena No. 03’ on a navy blue background with a lilac paintbrush stroke highlighted segment]
‘D’ is a queer, Tamil, non-binary femme, who, at the time of interview in August 2021 was 27, partnered, and living in London.
The extract is fairly explicit extract as ‘D’ and Almaz chat about how wondrous it can be to have your burgeoning adolescent sexuality validated by your peers and the hilarity of UK High Street nightclub culture.
Written sexuality survey answers in ‘Postscript’ mailout (paywall)
[Image description: Text ‘Authenticity Arena No. 11’ on a navy blue background with a lilac paintbrush stroke highlighted segment]
Authenticity Area No. 02
‘C’ is Mexican, gay and non-binary, who, at the time of interview in July 2021 was 31, single, and living in London.
The extract discusses the role of Catholicism in sexual repression and the music video as a vehicle for sexual desire.
Written sexuality survey answers in ‘Postscript’ mailout (paywall)
[Image description: Text ‘Authenticity Arena No. 01’ on a navy blue background with a lilac paintbrush stroke highlighted segment]
Authenticity Area No. 01
‘B’ is a queer, Greek (Caucasian), woman (cis), who, at the time of interview in June 2021, was 32, partnered, and living in London.
The extract picks up a thread that directly references question 14 of Almaz’s sexuality survey: “Is there anything you can remember that sparked your sexual / intimate desires, e.g. a certain person / a film / a song / an advert?”
Written sexuality survey answers in ‘Postscript’ mailout (special edition; no paywall)
[Image description: White speech box with black border shadows. Black text ‘As part of my research for my book, I’m running an anonymous online sexuality survey’. Dark orange text ‘bit.ly/ao_sexsurvey’. Black text ‘Anyone over 18 can fill it in, wherever you are in the world.’ Picture of coloured rectangles placed at angles with black border shadows. White text ‘Do you have guilt or shame around desire, sex or pleasure? Why/why not? Do you support compulsory sex and relationships education?’ on top rectangle]
The sexuality survey is still open, so in the meantime please do fill in/share it as all of the responses are helping me make connections between the ways in which we’ve been socialised and our relationship to sexuality.
[Image description: Text ‘POSTSCRIPT’ on a navy blue background with a lilac paintbrush stroke]
The ‘POSTSCRIPT’ segment for paid subscribers will drop on Wednesday 8 March. To receive this extra mailout, you’ll need to upgrade to a paid subscription.
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I’m Almaz Ohene, a Creative Copywriter, Freelance Journalist and Accidental Sexpert.
Follow me on Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook.
Available for commissions. Info via almazohene.com/contact-faqs.
This content is free, but it takes time to create and upload each piece. I know that hundreds of you open and read these mailouts month after month, after month (as Substack provides stats reporting), so if this project is something that you value, please consider becoming a paid subscriber of ‘She Dares to Say’.
If you would prefer to make a one-off donation, feel free to send a contribution via PayPal.
You can also show your enjoyment without spending £££, by liking, commenting or sharing 😃
This is a super awesome series. Thank you for sharing it :)