#32: Hen party with a twist
In which I run a developing səxual expression and understanding intimacy workshop...
[Image description: Text ‘Hen party with a twist’ on a navy blue background with a lilac paintbrush stroke highlighted segment]
Note: While regular ‘She Dares To Day’ mailouts are on hiatus, and since wedding season is now in full swing, I thought I’d describe the raucous fun I instigated at a hen party.
If you’ve been a subscriber of this email newsletter since the lockdown days you might remember me sending out promotional emails for my ‘Developing sexual expression and understanding intimacy’ workshops, which I was running online via Zoom at the time. I had originally devised the ‘Writing Romance’ workshop as an in-person activity for my friend’s hen weekend some months before covid hit. I got some great feedback and expanded the workshop into a four-part online series once it became apparent that none of us would be able to gather in groups for a while. But then, somehow, in the last couple of years, I’d literally forgotten that I offered them, so it’s been great to get back to in-person facilitation again.
[Image description: promo banner for Almaz’s sexuality workshops in pinks and purples with line drawings of sex paraphernalia on a cream background]
Last month, I jumped on a train with a backpack full of assorted sex ed materials, to make my way to a countryside guest lodge where I’d been booked to lead a group of women on a hen party through my ‘Improving Intimacy’ workshop.
Rewind to a couple of weeks before that when ‘B’ contacted me about the hen party she was organising, and we jumped on a video call to chat about what my workshop involved and what her hens were looking for.
I shared my screen with ‘B’ and zipped through the content on PowerPoint. Together, we agreed that looking at the anatomy of female-assigned bodies and male-assigned bodies would be a good place to start. But I’d swap out the material on differences between biological sex and gender expression for some of the ‘Improving Intimacy Part II’ content, which includes tips on how to work up to sharing your explicit materials preferences and sexual bucket list with your partner(s).
Both ‘B’ and I came off the call excited for the workshop!
I arrived at the country lodge in the early evening to find the 15 hens all gathered in the rustic reception room. I laid out some of my materials – which included beautiful watercolour vulvar anatomy illustrations and anatomy and sex position books – on the coffee tables, powered up my laptop, connected to the large TV screen via HDMI cable and loaded my accompanying PowerPoint.
I eased the hens into the session with some ice-breakers: “Think back to the sex ed you had at school, what did it focus on? And what did you wish you had learned? Let’s go around the group and people can share their thoughts. No worries if you don’t fancy speaking out in front of everyone though!”
We spent the next two hours immersed in sex and intimacy chat with me steering the group through issues like “How can we let our partner(s) know we’d like to try [insert pleasurable thing here]?” and “How can we build physical trust with someone who you’ve just started dating?”
[Image description: Almaz is wearing a denim all-in-one and stands in front of a group of women who are excitedly telling sex stories]
Later, the hens all screamed “YES!” when I asked them if they wanted to see some clips of some independent porn films, and so we knocked back another drink and discussed both the horn factor and artistic merit of a number of scenes.
We ended the two-hour session by flicking through the books, admiring the genital diversity on show in their pages and also rating the sex positions we’d feasibly be able to try.
[Image description: Two of the women at the hen party are looking at the pages of a book called ‘Womanhood: The Bare Reality’]
As I packed up, a few of the hens came to tell me what they thought of the session.
‘B’ said, “I absolutely loved this workshop. Hilarious and educational at the same time and I’ve learned a lot. Will deffo recommend!”
And another hen said, “Your workshop was a perfect hen activity, especially for us hens who might not have wanted a butler in the buff, but did want to add a little bit of naughty stuff. You made us feel comfortable from the start and got us talking about sex from a female lens which is often left out!”
Someone else said, “We’re mostly Jewish so it would have been great to learn a bit about any differences between circumcised and uncircumcised penises.”
I’m really grateful that they brought this up and I’ve now added a new slide to my PowewerPoint!
[Image description: Almaz and the 15 hens pose for the camera while holding sex ed materials – take 1’]
[Image description: Almaz and the 15 hens pose for the camera while holding sex ed materials - take 2]
If you’re planning a party or hen do where you’d like a focus on improving sensual creativity, sexual expression and intimate relationships please visit the workshop page on my website and click the ‘Request booking info’ button for more information.
There are four workshops to choose from, but I can also mix and match the content according to your preferences.
Writing Romance
[Image description: promo banner for ‘Writing Romance’ workshop in pinks and purples with line drawings of sex paraphernalia on a cream background]
Almaz guides participants through storytelling techniques, including tips on sketching characters, plotting narratives, writing dialogue and avoiding (or subverting) common tropes.
What people have said about ‘Writing Romance’:
“It was a great introduction and helped me to begin with my idea of writing erotic short stories, what I had in mind for so long time. I’m very grateful for the worksheet, which will help me to stay tuned with that idea. I would definitely recommend your workshop.” – Anna, online workshop participant, March 2021
“What seemed like it could’ve been very awkward and embarrassing actually ended up being really fun, thought-provoking and exciting! Would definitely recommend to friends, it was so great to do something different!” – Jenny, hen party guest, January 2020
Cultivating Consent Culture
[Image description: promo banner for ‘Cultivating Consent Culture’ workshop in pinks and purples with line drawings of sex paraphernalia on a cream background]
Almaz shows participants examples of verbal and non-verbal signs of consent and non-consent; exercises to practice purposefully verbalising pleasure, desires and boundaries, and tips for introducing new sexual practices into your repertoire.
What people have said about ‘Cultivating Consent Culture’:
“It was great! I liked how open it was and people felt they could voice their thoughts in a safe space.” – Anon., online workshop participant, July 2020
“The use of current material made it fresh and pointed to the reality of the topics currently being discussed widely at present.” – Anon., online workshop participant, July 2020
Improving Intimacy Part I
[Image description: promo banner for ‘Improving Intimacy Part I’ workshop in pinks and purples with line drawings of sex paraphernalia on a cream background]
Revising anatomy and pleasure points, help discovering erogenous zones and tips for introducing new sexual practices into your repertoire.
What people have said about ‘Improving Intimacy Part I’:
“I really enjoyed the session and learnt a lot about female-assigned anatomy that I didn’t realise I didn’t know. I also really liked how diverse and inclusive the session was in terms of both anatomy shown and different identities.” – Anon., online workshop participant, March 2021
“What I am very happy about is that from your workshop my partner and I had an hour-long chat about sex etc. It was really important and something we were both too scared to talk about. So the workshop was a massive success for us.” – Anon., online workshop participant, July 2020
Improving Intimacy Part II
[Image description: promo banner for ‘Improving Intimacy Part II’ workshop in pinks and purples with line drawings of sex paraphernalia on a cream background]
Print-out-and-build ‘Sex Menu’, ethical pornography outlet recommendations for all genders, and sex toy reviews and recommendations for all genders.
What people have said about ‘Improving Intimacy Part II’:
“I had such a wonderful time during the Intimacy Workshop. I learned new ways to communicate my desires, bring toys into my play, and even discovered a whole plethora of ethical porn I'm excited to explore. The conversations we had left me feeling nourished, inspired, and – dare I say – aroused! I can’t wait for Almaz’s next event series! (There’ll be more right?)” – Oli, online workshop participant, July 2020
“When I joined Almaz’s workshop, I felt welcomed into an environment where people were able to speak about sexual intimacy openly, honestly and with positivity. Just being present for that was a positive experience for me, let alone some of the unexpected things I learned about sex toys, indie porn sites and affiliate links!” – Anon., online workshop participant, July 2020
Disclaimer
Almaz is not a certified therapist.
All courses and workshops are based on practical research and professional work within the Sex Ed sector, which has included training run by medical practitioners at both School of Sexuality Education and the Decolonising Contraception Collective (although this series has been developed independently by Almaz Ohene).
Almaz is registered on the UK Government’s DBS Update Service system. ID no. C3045646741. She holds an advanced certificate which enables her to work with both vulnerable people of all ages and children. The certification process provides full information regarding necessary safeguarding measures when encountering personal admissions or disclosures of a sexual nature.
Almaz has a duty of care to report any admissions or disclosures which raise legal and/or safety concerns.
[Image description: Text ‘POSTSCRIPT’ on a navy blue background with a lilac paintbrush stroke]
The ‘POSTSCRIPT’ segment for paid subscribers will drop on Wednesday 12 July and will include a closer look at the contents of each of the four workshops. To receive this extra mailout you’ll need to upgrade to a paid subscription.
[Image description: Text ‘PRODUCED BY’ on navy blue background with a lilac paintbrush stroke]
I’m Almaz Ohene, a Creative Copywriter, Freelance Journalist and Accidental Sexpert.
Recent work:
– For brand strategy agency Brand By Me, I wrote a blog – ‘Why an inclusive brand doesn’t need the “Royal” seal of approval – which explains why brands jumping on the nationalism bandwagon can be problematic.
– (This came out a while ago, but only seen it recently) For dating app Badoo’s digital magazine ‘The Blog’, I spoke to qualified sex and relationship therapist Sue Newman about how to set boundaries when dating.
Available for commissions. Info via almazohene.com/contact-faqs.
This looks awesome